14 Things They Don't Tell You: Skydiving

What better way to celebrate an anniversary than to jump out of a perfectly good plane with nothing but a chute to stop you?! 

Sign me up! I'll take two!

It is one of the most beautiful views you will ever have of the world and sure does humble you.

July 22, 2013

Reluctantly, I agreed to John's persistent attempts to convince me it would be a good idea to go skydiving to celebrate our first anniversary as a married couple.
I was alright with it until we started to make our way to the airport. At this point,  I began to get quite nervous.

We arrived at the skydive facility and the welcoming staff was very friendly. After watching a short video demonstration of what to do, we met our instructors. If I  recall correctly, my instructor was a young, short, man, maybe in his mid to late twenties. He was extremely friendly and very informative. John on the other hand, was not as pleased with his instructor. He was an older man in his 50's, and spoke with a Scottish accent. He was very straight forward and not very personable.

After being fitted with our harnesses we had to wait about 10 to 15 minutes because there was a dive ahead of us, (I could have waited forever, though). I was about to pee myself and we haven't even gotten on the plane yet. To my dismay, they returned faster than anticipated. As we made our way towards the plane, I hesitated a bit.

From our experience, Here's what they never tell you when you go skydiving...

1. The plane is tiny and there are no seats. There are only two benches stretching the length of the plane.
2. The plane is so loud you can't hear yourself thinking. Your instructor will tell you everything you need to know on the plane, right before you jump... Don't worry... You won't hear a thing he says!
3. Right before you jump, you will need to sit on your instructors lap for several awkward minutes, (poor John) in order for him to strap you onto himself. (This is when they like to pull the "oh no, good thing I saw this buckle was not clamped shut before we jumped!"") - it's a scare tactic. Supposedly, it adds to the adrenaline?! It only scared the daylights out of me!
4. The plane goes very, VERY high. Yes, it's expected, but I don't think anyone really realizes how high it really goes until the entire half side of the plane disappears. You're wayyyy above the cloud line.
5. Never scream "NO! NO! NO!" They think you're saying "GO! GO! GO!"
6. If you happen to catch anything your instructor says to you on the plane, don't worry... You'll forget everything... even your name, the instant you dive out.
7. It's COLD up there!!!! Wear the suit and long sleeves!!
8. The initial free fall lasts forever!! And it's SCARY! It's nothing like you have ever felt before. It is probably the most intense feeling in the world and not good for the faint of heart. I can maybe compare it to if you've ever fallen down stairs or dove off of a really tall diving board.. except you don't hit anything. You have that initial feeling of falling... And it doesn't stop!!
9. You absolutely cannot breathe during the free fall. Because of the force of falling, your nostrils are plastered to your face (or the other way around, there's so much air being forced up your nose you can't inhale) and if you try to open your mouth and breathe, well... It's basically like sticking a leaf blower in your mouth and trying to inhale. Impossible. Basically, you feel like your suffocating.
10. BRING EXTRA SOCKS!!! Not for your feet,  but for your legs. (especially you gentlemen, or if your a lady and don't have much padding on your thighs.) When you get strapped in, stuff those baggars in the inside of your thigh, where the harness is close to your groin. If you don't... Your parachute ride down will be very unpleasant. The harness will cut off a main artery in your leg and you will lose circulation. After that you become very nauseous and light headed. It feels like your legs are being amputated with a dull knife. Another way to beat this, is to sit back in your harness and try to scootch the leg straps away from your groin, down towards the middle of the bank of your thigh.
11. Make sure your harness is new and not being held together by staples and strings. This also makes for a very unpleasant float down, (might I add, unsafe?!). If you are not satisfied with the harness, ask for another. DO NOT settle!!!
12. When the chute is pulled, your instructor will say, "You will feel a slight tug.". Yeah.. Okay! Slight tug, my hinny! It's more of a, shall we say, soul jolt. It feels like your soul is being yanked out of your back.
13. Your instructor may be in a hurry to get down, and thus will "cut in" very hard. Cutting in is what happens after the parachute is deployed and the instructor alternates pulling down on either side  of the chute to get to a lower altitude, faster. Now, if he does this too hard, you will end up turning sideways, almost facing the ground and the G-force on your body will make it feel as if you are being torn apart and your eyeballs are about to pop out of your face. (This may cause some people to pass out - which is very dangerous.)
14. If you don't love your instructor upon first impression, request another. The instructor plays the MOST important part in a successful and pleasant dive. 

Happy diving!!!